PrivateTears

What do you do when your night won't turn to day? When the only colors are various shades of grey? When you try to persist but the world keeps dragging you down? When you put yourself out there and yet can't be found? What difference are a few hundred more tears when already thousands have been shed? What difference is a long sleeve shirt when nobody cares that you bled? What's the point of acting strong when on the inside you're dead? How can you be strong when on the inside you're dead? Lying awake countless nights just staring at the walls, re-enacting in my mind my various trips and falls. Isolated in a world that could never understand

I still don't get life And it's constant ups and downs Stuck in a world that I'm Unable to escape from I still don't get love Or the heartaches that it brings Lost in a game that has No clear way to win I still don't get emotions Or why I feel the ones I do Always seeming quite bi-polar Whenever I'm thinking about you I still don't get memories And why yours won't go away I suppose although you're gone My love will always remain

These tears sting like daggers through the eyes; The pain only being surpassed by the slits on my wrists As it competes with my aching heart for attention. I lay here in the bathtub in my bathroom, The running water drowning out the sound of my sobs And cleansing the tub of my blood. I lay here staring at the refection of the roof Through the mirror on the wall, To numb now to feel or care about my surging pains. Despite being alone in my apartment, I hear sounds of laughing and taunting. I see their faces and they're all smiling. I close my eyes. Inhale. Exhale. I open my eyes. This is all too real, And yet too much like a drea

Tears on my notebook Blood on the floor Voices in the hallway Banging on the door Stinging on my eyes Pain from my wrists Memories of her And our very first kiss Sirens in the distance Blurriness in my eyes Snapping back to reality I realized I was going to die As my eyelids got heavy The room grew very loud Then it all fell silent And I was weightless like a cloud Tears on my notebook Blood on the floor And the voices in my head Speak to me no more

I was going to write you a poem But I didn't know what to it should say Should I write about your smile Which gets me through every day Or the beauty in your eyes That let's me know things are going to be ok Or the gentle way you talk to me Whenever I'm feeling down Or that beautiful laugh you make When you threw me to the ground I want to write about how much I value our friendship Cuz I know you're tired of hearing how I wish it was more I want to write about how my heartbeat plays hopscotch whenever you walk through the door I want to write about how much you've helped me Since I've met you three years ago And how I hope yo

I miss my son or daughter A dream I've had for years That was ended by the mother And it's seems weird to miss someone I never met But even still, I cannot seem to forget I don't even know the child's gender Nor do I know his or her eye and hair color Never have seen the kid's face Will never know if black or white was the dominant race Never got to say hello, never got to say goodbye Will never get to hear the words "I love you dad" And yet this woman wonders why I'm so mad Every night I tell that kid I'm sorry Maybe we really were not ready But I still would have loved to hold my child in my arms Our child, a product of our s

Ink and paper No more gold Kept tucked away So nobody knows Whisper, whisper Secrets, lies Half told truths And economic demise Richest nation Trillionaire debt Waging war In hopes we'd forget Richest nation That title's old 11 trillion Is what you owe Ink and paper But no more gold Worthless money Truths unfold

Trace the pain With razor blades Replace the screams With blood Swap the tears For alcohol Confuse suicide With love Transform blogs To poetry Change depression Into art Cherish knives Like bibles View cutting As if it were lust Claim shadows As you friends Praise bullets As meds Trace the pain With razor blades Confuse suicide With love

Lives get touched. Love develops. Lies surfaces. Scars heal. Memories haunt. Love lingers. Do-overs considered. Lives get touched And never be the same, Love develops Then part of you fades, Lies surfaces To fill your heart with pain, Scars heal But never go away, Memories haunt Each and every day, Love still lingers But so does the pain, Do-overs considered But it would never be same, Those desperate to be in love Must be desperately insane, Relationships never last But the hurt always remains.